Yihui Pan
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In the Shadow of Expectations 
The Paradox of Self-Loss and Identity


Thesis  Project

“Have you ever felt like you're not really yourself, but just playing a role to make others happy?”

“This project is about how I lost myself while growing up under my familial and societal expectations.”

When I was growing up, I felt like I had to be two different people. My dad wanted me to be strong, sporty, and confident. My mom wanted me to be soft, artistic, and graceful. So I kept changing—how I looked, how I acted—just to fit both sides. But after a while, I started to wonder: Who am I, really?

So this thesis shares my story. My thesis is called “In the Shadow of Expectations: The Paradox of Self-Loss and Identity.” It’s about how trying to meet other people’s hopes can make us lose our true self


Visualized Design

This video is a visual extension of “In the Shadow of Expectations: The Paradox of Self-Loss and Identity.”Capturing the feeling of being trapped—both physically and emotionally—by placing the self inside a confined box. Using a first-person perspective, flashing filters, heartbeat, and breathing sounds, it viscerally conveys the tension, pressure, and anxiety explored in “In the Shadow of Expectations.” The piece translates the thesis theme into a sensory experience of internal struggle and identity confinement.


3D Printing Sculpture Design


Thesis Book


Yihui Pan